Now that my boyfriend is gone, I can continue with the grind, the grind as in work, work, work and more work. And for that shit, I need sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep.

cloying:

It begins to frustrate me that I feel what I want to say but honestly the past months not once has it ever came out the way I wanted, and yes by this I mean just expressing, “writing” the entrails of my fucking head. I don’t know what it is. The void of emotion or anything to push the words out of my fucking throat is not really the situation because I’m currently not a local simp or something. I enjoy writing, I do. But I realize I’m just a free writer longing to express because my writing never appeals to my own eyes, or to anyone’s in that matter, and possibly that shouldn’t matter at all but the fact that it doesn’t. I don’t see how I could go on with it. The process kills, the process is frustrating. So then I am not writer, I just express in vulgarity until it seems satisfying enough. But there seems passion in it oddly enough.

But to the few writers I still find on here, I enjoy reading. Sometimes, or all the time I am envious that people here can write words so perfectly, so appealing, so fit I conceal all my posts on draft because fuck. There’s power in those words, that lack in mine. It’s like say, I’m not mindful of what I say, but with them. They know. Of course considering why the fuck I’m even saying this but if I can’t write, and that I find myself forcing half the universe out of my throat. I’ll just leave this here. 

Goodnight.

Did the Egg-Coconut oil protein treatment last night, and I must say that my hair feels great! Of course afterward I use coconut oil and Olive oil to seal the moister in from my damp hair also; so that must be another factor to add.

So I am making myself a Goal list, my boyfriend greated one for himself and I was inspired to do one as well. Now these goals wont be in any order , they’re just random things that i want to complete by this time next year. (May 15th 2012 )…there will be things added.

• Buy a used/new car
• Graduate in Januaury
• Save Over 1,000s dollars (In savings account)
• Get into a good college
• Grow hair past shoulder length

Then my baby is here @kissmytat2s <3

I love staring at my boyfriend when he is doing something that he is passionate about, I dont know what it is, I just see a light lit when he’s in his own little world.